Little Black Book|Love Hard Project

Little Black Book|Love Hard Project

January 21, 2019

Soooo, I'm sitting here in front of my computer with lots of things running through my head for a blog post, but with a serious case of writer's block. Maybe because I'm not a writer? Possibly. But if I keep telling myself that, I will manifest the thought into my life and I will struggle every time I try to write. And, this, I suppose, gives me an idea!

**NEGATIVE SELF-TALK**

How many times during the day do we say unflattering things to ourselves? Or tell ourselves we are not capable of something? Or worry that if we try and fail, people will make fun of us or think less of us? Every time we think these adverse thoughts, we are creating exactly what we are thinking. Our brains begin to believe the words we say or think and if we don't change the input, it becomes our reality. Then the negativity begins to spill over into the other parts of our lives...job, family relationships, friendships. People start to avoid us and the pessimistic thoughts begin again and it is just a vicious circle.

**STOP...AND WRITE!**

What can you do to stop the cycle? Mentor and personal development trainer, Kirk Duncan, gives this advice. He suggests that you carry a little black journal (black, because it holds dark and negative thoughts) and every time you have a negative thought, write it in the book. Immediately after that, you will turn that negative statement around to make it positive and also write one other positive thing about yourself. For instance, the thought, "I'm not even a writer so why do I think I can write a blog?" comes into my head. I write that in my little black journal and then write: "I am a total grammar freak! I love words and I pulled straight A's in English my entire school career! I AM A WRITER!" Then I would write one other positive thing that can be totally unrelated such as, "And I have cool hair!" You can be serious or humorous. Just be YOU! This exercise encourages you to acknowledge the thought, but gives you the tools you need to begin changing your mindset to a more healthy one. Eventually, your mind will automatically change a negative thought into a positive one. 

**SELF-LOVE**

Let's not confuse self-love or self-worth with conceit or arrogance. Arrogance comes with thinking we are better than another person based on our race, financial status, the size of our house, the model of car we drive, the cost of our clothing, our education, and any other number of material symbols. This kind of comparison leaves one person feeling like they are superior and one feeling as if they were inferior. Self-love, on the other hand, is crucial to being able to love others fully and without judgement or comparison. We must love and forgive ourselves for our flaws and mistakes so that we can fully love and understand that everyone has flaws as well, but we can still love them in spite of these imperfections. When we are confident with who we are, there will be no need of comparison because we are enough just the way we are. Be forgiving with yourself and keep those journals close at hand so you can go back and read just how awesome you are!



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